Roberto Torres Jr.

January 12, 1958-November 7, 2019

A.K.A. Robert, Bob, Bobby

Written for Jacob R. Torres and Milo R. Torres by Patricia A. Torres

"The Measure of a Man"

How do you put into words the love so many people have for Robert? How do you quantify or measure the number of lives he has influenced during the past 61 years that he has lived and walked this earth? A life can’t be measured by the wealth nor possessions one has accumulated, in Mark (8:36) Christ said, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” This reveals that earthly possessions are of no value in eternity, heaven. In the 35 years as an educator and coach; how do you describe the impact that he has had on the lives of students, fellow teachers, and staff? How do you measure the joy of those who have had the pleasure of knowing him as a neighbor, friend, colleague, mentor, brother, cousin, and uncle?* Is it possible to measure the cherished love from having known him as a son, father, and husband? For Robert it is measured by the number people whose lives he touched through mutual love, care, and respect. For Robert it’s measured by the extent of his character, one that was forged deep in the recesses of his soul that established him as a man who was diligent, decisive, and dedicated.

“When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.” We can now consider ourselves rich beyond measure. Every conversation, every experience, every interaction, every moment, and every photo of Robert is now a treasured memory, one stored away in our minds and brought to life through recollections of days past.* It is my hope that this book helps you to connect with his life’s experiences, visualize all the good times, wonderful experiences, and joys that established the foundation of who he was and how he lived. The smiles are evident of all the good times and experiences that we hold tight to, even though we know there are many trying experiences in every person’s life. Yes, we mention these because it is these that build character, in Mathew 5:3-4, the bible says, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…” Every person has their struggles and Robert was not exempt, and yet for him it was through these that he learned to work out difficulties, resolve problems, and come up with viable solutions. He had the uncanny ability to look at trials, see the big picture, and know that there would be clam at the end of the turbulence.

Pancreatic cancer was a turbulent trial that commanded attention and would try his character to the ninth degree. Pancreatic cancer is a turbulent uncharted sea where one is raised up on the crest of a 50-foot wave, only to be brought down and slammed into the shore with a heart wrenching crash. It captures you with fear, it is scary, relentless, and challenges one to dig down deep and find every ounce of courage to battle it. Hence, Robert took it head on, he fought, he battled, and did whatever he could, full well knowing the result. For he lived through this ordeal, in 2016, he watched his sister, Marty, battle the same turbulent cancer in 2016, only to succumb to it's powerful force.

Robert may have known the result, but he did not allow it to defeat him. In the wee hours of Thanksgiving Day, 2018, we had just gotten the most terrifying news of our lives. Roberts’ ultrasound revealed spots on both his pancreas and liver, the doctors’ concern and passion as to how critical it was to have a biopsy done to find out if they were benign or malignant was obvious, he had a look of urgency in his eyes. Having gone through pancreatic cancer with his sister, we immediately had a sinking feeling. In dismay, in shock, and in terror we left the hospital, sat in the car, held hands, bowed our heads, and prayed. We put our faith, trust, and lives in the only hands that had control of the situation, God’s hands.

We said, “We are giving this over to you God. We are in Your hands, You are our heavenly Father, we trust in You, and we will put our faith in Your will for our lives. You, Father God, are our guide, You lead our paths, You are our source of strength and courage, You are our protector, and our place of safety.” Robert said and continued to say throughout the year he battled the cancer, “This is God’s will for my life”…in essence he said, “I trust in God and I have faith in God, for whatever path or plan He has for me”. Bob knew that his days were numbered, and he knew that it was God’s sovereign plan. Bob trusted and walked by faith from that day forward. He fully believed that God gave live and that God decided when each person would breathe their last breath.

With humility and grace from God Bob lived each day knowing that no matter what happened to him we were in God’s hands. That we too were a part of God’s will and that God’s word is full of promises of loving kindness, protection, strength, shelter, and courage. It was because of these promises that Bob knew that even though he would be gone, we were well protected in the arms of our Heavenly Father, God. Psalms 18: 2-3 is the verse we claimed as the year unfolded- I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer: my God is my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

November 2018-November 2019 The Year Robert Puts His Trust in God

What happens in an instant when your whole life changes? When all you have known and all you have hoped for will no longer be? Where do you turn? Whom do you turn to? Robert turned to God. Robert put his faith and trust in God, he knew that it was God who decided this path and that it would be God who provided a place of safety, strength, courage, shelter, and love, again Psalm 218 comes to mind.

I know you are hurting, pained, and saddened. We are all hurting together and so have formed a common bond. A bond of pain that ties us together, a bond that can form a powerful source of strength.

“How is Pain a Source of Strength?”

The evening we put Robert to rest, the hundreds of people who came to pay their last respects was an example of the Body of Christ in action. The Body of Christ is each and every one of those who are called to Christ through Salvation. The Body of Christ is the faithful believers who are bound together as children of God—we become brothers and sisters. Romans 12:5 explains it… So we, who are many are one Body in Christ, and individually members of the one another. As brothers and sisters in Christ we share in each other’s lives, the good and the not so good in fact the bible calls us to bare each other’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 Bare one another’s burdens, so fulfil the law of Christ

Those who showed up, were there to bear our family’s burden. To show us grace—

To help us to heal

To be the voice of Christ

To be the face of Christ

To be the arms of Christ

Their comfort, Their offers of help, Their prayers are all felt even when unspoken,

Even across the miles

Even from those who could not be there that day

We were and always will be lifted up in prayer so we have peace because they are sharing this burden:

Their strength becomes our strength

Their comfort becomes our comfort

God knows we will suffer, but He promises to strengthen us as well, in 1 Peter 5:10 it states… And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you

Patti’s Journey

Throughout 2019 many people told me…”I can’t believe how strong you are”

I couldn’t believe it nor did I understand it but I did and do know that peace comes from God.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

There you have it--some things we just don’t understand. Both Robert and I turned to God to guard our hearts and minds and be our source of peace. We called upon his angel armies to battle the fear. We chose God. Our thoughts are our own. Our thoughts are our choice we control them. We couldn’t change our circumstances, but we could change our attitude and how we looked at the path God took us on.

In Philippians 4:8, Paul writes…”Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

We chose to think about, meditate on, and focus our thoughts on the things of God – our source of peace. There are many more promises in the Bible, and we put our faith and our trust in the word of God.

Throughout 2019 I read chapters from the book of Psalms. I found a common theme woven through each chapter

God’s promise of strength

God’s promise of courage

God demonstrates lovingkindness

God a powerful deliverer

We have prayed for these attributes to carry us through 2019.

I knew that they would also have to carry me throughout the years to come. Because I was afraid of walking this earth, of living my life without the one man in the whole world who could be:

-the one and only love of my life

-my plus one

-my best friend and confidant

-our tribal leader

-the father of our children, who are two of the finest young men you will ever come across, because they have been forged by the same strong ideals and characteristics Robert possessed.

I am afraid to live without:

-my true north

We were both afraid but as

Psalm 23 states...I shall not fear, for God is with me

Psalm 40:17 Since I am afflicted and needy,

Let the Lord be mindful of me;

Thou art my help and my deliverer;

Do not delay, oh my God.

As children of God we both were called to listen to God, to listen to His word, to allow it to penetrate into our hearts, minds, and souls.

Isaiah 55:3 Incline your ear and come to me. Listen that you may live.

So, peace and rest of heart were our help and our deliverance because our Heavenly Father God promises to rescue us amidst any fear, discouragement, and doubt.

This verse sums up my thoughts, 1Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I will turn to God in prayer, I will give thanks in these dire of circumstances and know that it is my attitude toward them than can change, and I will do my best to trust in God’s will.

God is Wise. Robert Chose to Listen to God’s Wisdom

The Bible holds for all people the things we NEED to know:

Job 12:13 With Him are wisdom and might; to Him belong counsel and understanding

WE rested in God’s wisdom and character. WE rested because God knows all:

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither

are your ways my ways.” Declares the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are my ways higher than your ways,

And my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

We did not understand this, We couldn’t comprehend why it happened, but we did know that God knew and that was all we needed to know.

God reveals to us what we need to know, and He holds from us what we don’t need to know.

God’s Will for Robert’s Life

…Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven…

The Lord’s prayer, the Our Father, is found in Matthew 6:9-13. We can say that collectively we have prayed this prayer thousands of times. But how many times do we stop to really meditate on each and every word. Most of the time we just ramble through it out of rote memory:

Never stopping to allow the words to transform our lives

Never stopping to meditate on the word of God

Prayer needs to be a process that draws us closer to God and develops a personal relationship with Him.

…Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven…

This is a powerful line and one that carried us through 2019. From day 1 Robert said, “This is God’s will for my life.”

Robert knew that the will of God would take precedence over his will and his desires.

Robert was a selfless man, a giving man. Robert’s plans for retirement were focused on me and the boys. He wanted to travel, to take us places, and do things for us. We were his whole life. He said, “He couldn’t wait to retire so he could help me more.”

God’s will is the predestined plan for every living being. Robert put his faith, his trust, and his very life in God’s hands. He submitted to God’s will--- to God’s plan

…Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven…

Robert knew that all that he was and all that he had belonged to God----even his very life.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to

prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Robert’s hope and Robert’s future was heaven.

We are here today because it was the will of God, it was God’s timing, God’s plan –Faith and Trust will help us through.

God’s Ways - Robert Chose God’s Ways

These verses reveal to us how God thinks about us, how each and every one of us matters, and how He is our protector and our stronghold.

Psalm 139:14 I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

Robert put his trust in God and was thankful for each day he had because he knew he was wonderfully made, a child of God. Robert knew that he was in God’s hands.

Joshua 1:9 Be strong, be brave, be fearless, you are never alone.

Robert was forged to be strong and brave, it was ingrained in him. He fought this cancer with everything he had, he knew God was with him. He knew it was God’s will for His life.

Fearless, well that’s a tough one-- fear has it’s way of engulfing us- Fear was always a difficult battle.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you and you need only be still.

Robert knew that he was in God’s hands and God had drawn him into a place to be still, to rest in God’s arms, to know that God was his place of safety, God was his shelter, God loved him, God was leading his every step, and God was guiding his path.

Every day I thought about the fact that one day I would be alone. It became very clear to Robert and I that God was calling him home. It is difficult, it is scary but I too and you also, can claim these verses.

We are ALL wonderfully made, we are to be BRAVE, and we are NOT ALONE----God is our STRENGTH, God is our COURAGE.

It will be difficult because now we are called to walk this earth without the man we loved, respected, admired, laughed with, fought with, shared with, and quite frankly enjoyed life with…

It will be difficult because Robert was an amazing man and this world will be a strange place without him.

God’s hope & God’s Grace for Robert

Grace is the favor of blessings bestowed on us, it is unmerited, it is God’s gift to us, it is the undeserving pardon for our sins by Christ Himself.

Grace means we are completely accepted into heaven because Christ

Reconciles Redeems Forgives Delivers Glorifies

Colossians 1:27 …Christ in you, the hope of glory

What is the hope of glory? “HEAVEN”

1Peter 5:10 And the God of grace who called you to His eternal glory in Christ…

Again, eternal glory is “HEAVEN”

Eternal life with our Heavenly Father God is the free gift of grace. Our peace surpasses all understanding, and yet our hope is secure.

BECAUSE Robert choose heaven.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son that whosoever

believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

A Summation

This verse seems to sum up Robert’s journey this past year.

1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ , will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you

-Robert trusted in the WISDOM of God---trusted that God had a purpose for him, and that God knew what He was doing

-Robert choose to submit to the WILL of God …thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven...

-Robert was accepted the unmerited GRACE of God

-God’s GRACE led Robert to PEACE and HOPE

-Robert received the hope of glory in HEAVEN

-Revelations describes HEAVEN as a place of no more pain, no more fear, no more suffering, and no more tears

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain…

-Robert is resting in HEAVEN---resting in PEACE ---he has been made whole again and that can be our greatest source of PEACE.

1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ , will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

"Bob Meant So Much to So Many People"*

Reflecting on his life we are reminded of the true essence of who Robert was, and what made him so loved, admired and respected. Bob at his core always had a servant’s heart. He would go out of his way to help or serve anybody he saw who needed help, even without their asking. In Chino Hills, he helped several neighbors put up retaining walls, mow their lawns, install sprinklers, lay tile, or paint their houses. As he walked across a street and spotted a nail, he always stopped to pick it up, just to be considerate and prevent another from getting a flat tire. That was Bob, it was second nature to him to stop what he was doing to help others, to set aside time, energy, and effort to work on someone else’s home, and to do it out of love and affection because for him the mere satisfaction of making another person’s life easier was his reward. He was dedicated to the service of others.

He was first and foremost a loving husband to me, Patti, and a loving father to you two, Jacob and Milo. He would say, “You are my whole life, I live for you, and I would do anything for you.” He was 100% dedicated to us and devoted his every waking hour to see to it that we were provided for and taken care of. We brought him great joy, we were the reason he got up every morning, the object of his unending love and affection. He relished watching you play sports and would do anything for you that was in his power to do. He said his only regret, with having to deal with the inevitable result of pancreatic cancer, was that he would not get to see you get married nor get to meet his grandchildren. It is hoped that as you reach those milestones, he won’t be far away, he’ll be in heaven looking down on all of us, protecting us in spirit.

To his Parents, he was a loving and devoted son, who as an adult, would check in with his mom daily to see how her day was and what his dad was up to. Mrs. Torres said that as a child, when he would go away to sports camps or other trips, he would always find a pay phone from which he would call her just to hear her voice and to let her know that he was fine. Even throughout this past year, and perhaps with more frequency, he would call his mom, just so she could hear his voice.

Even in his youth Bob was a leader, someone others looked up to and saw as mature and decisive, but it wasn’t always that way. He had a gruff and fighting attitude when he was a young boy. Getting into fights was not unusual for him and he was labeled a troublemaker. His sister Ida related that because of him, she would not get to stay at parties to enjoy the pinata or the cake, because inevitably, Bob would get into a fight or some sort of trouble, he would be asked to leave, and she would have to take him home. This fighting spirit was luckily turned around and quickly squelched by using sports as an avenue for his toughness.

The turning point in his life happened because his parents were advised to sign him up for sports and when they did, all found that it was a positive diversion for his strength and energy. Bobby thrived in the atmosphere of competition, strategy, and physical prowess that is embedded in the fabric of sports. Bobby began to settle down, focus, and dedicate hours toward improving his game whether it be basketball, baseball, or football. He excelled at all three, but he settled on baseball and football which he played through high school and coached when his playing days were over. Football was his true passion. Through the avenue of football and the character traits it develops-discipline, dedication, and concentration he excelled. He proved to have the elite skill, intellectual stamina, and physical toughness of a well-seasoned quarterback at a young age. The quarterback position is one of leadership and commands respect, Bobby garnered both.

He was well respected because he earned it by maintaining discipline under pressure both on and off the field. He dedicated countless hours to studying film, plays, and the rules of the game knowing it was a game that required as much mental skill as it did physical. He practiced with focus and determination knowing that preparation was the key to success. As a diligent student of the game he was able to excel. His ability to concentrate and stay calm under pressure was second nature to him, he had the rare quality of being able to maintain a level head through the speed and uncertainty of the game. Bobby was mature beyond his years, his mental and physical abilities were admired by his fellow classmates and recognized by his coaches. These accolades had no impact on his personality, he remained humble and grounded always giving the credit to God for having been blessed beyond belief by these traits.

Robert was one of those rare and unique individuals who had a presence that made him just a cut above. He was one of those rare individuals who commanded respect, simply by being himself. Since his passing the one thing that people keep saying about him is that he was the kindest person they had ever met. He was liked by everyone, simply because he treated people with respect and dignity. He had the uncanny ability to read people, he was intuitive, and could draw anybody into a conversation that would lead to him getting to know that person on an intimate and personal level within minutes. He was more interested at getting to the heart of the matter with individuals and not just placating with surface niceties. This “gift of gab” would surface wherever he was, at the grocery store, at a sporting event, at an airport, or miles away in a different city-wherever he was he’d make new friends.

This quality of making people feel welcome and part of his world reveals that he was dedicated to seeing to it that others were at ease, he was interested in sharing his life and listening to others about theirs. This gift of gab meant he could tell a story like no other. Every tale he told would spin out of control with each telling, he was a master at creating a yarn of a tale because each time he told it it got bigger and bigger. He had a sharp, quick, witty sense of humor, I would tell him, “Bobby T. you missed your calling, you shouldn’t have been a teacher, you should have been a comedian.” He was the master of the comeback, if you tried to dish him there was no way you’d win, he had a line for everything, and he was quick on the draw.

As a teacher, Bob had the ability to draw his students into each lesson by treating them with respect, this meant making sure they understood that he cared about them as human beings first and students second. It was his desire to create an environment that was conducive to learning, a place where students were challenged, and he put expectations on his students that pushed them to be the best they could be. Bob’s goal was to create a caring and inviting atmosphere first, because he understood that students need to trust a teacher first, know that they are cared for, and then learning will take place. Education is the business of developing an individual’s potential, not just instilling knowledge.

Bob was an avid sports fan. He watched football, baseball, basketball, hockey, boxing, golf, NASCAR racing, the Tour de France, and even the America’s cup yacht racing. If it was a competition, he watched it. He attended many sporting events, namely football games, locally and out of state. Traveling to iconic college football stadiums was his number one past time, he went to South Bend for the USC vs. Notre Dame game, Alabama to watch UCLA defeat the Tide at home and Washington, Arizona, and Kansas just to name a few others. Baseball held an extra special place in his heart, after playing in high school he continued to play as a young adult on the school team where he taught. He attended as many games as he had time for, he enjoyed watching Major League games live. As a family we’ve gone to 19 of the 30 Major League Baseball Stadiums, a tradition started by Bob and one we all embraced with him. He was passionate about it and we knew that it was something he enjoyed immensely. We’ve talked about continuing that tradition and visiting all of them. It is a tradition we will see to fruition.

Robert as a Father and a Husband

I would have to say his most honorable task in life was that of “Dad” or rather “Pops” as was the name you two, Jacob and Milo, his sons, called him. As time proved natural children were not in God’s will for the us however, time also proved parenthood was. We always looked at you boys as a gift from God. You were two little boys who needed the love, care, and direction of loving parents and God called upon us. Bob stands out as a man of character- for to take on the responsibility of providing for and guiding you two was truly an act of valor. God chooses only one individual for the tasks He commands. It is obvious that only Bob could have stepped into the position of “Pops” and forged the two fine young men that you, Jacob and Milo have become. The same fabric that forged Bob to be decisive, diligent, and hard-working have now been instilled, ingrained, and passed on to you. You two are young men who benefited from the guidance and direction of a real man.

There are many qualities that your Pops possessed, he was kind, thoughtful, giving, funny, and personable, but he was not nice. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mean this in a bad way. He held fast to the belief that, “Nice guys finish last”, he had no intention of being nice because he held fast to the belief that a real man said what he meant and meant what he said. He didn't believe in telling people what they wanted to hear, he believed in telling people what they needed to hear. He held fast to the belief that a real man demonstrated strength through his actions, and he lived a life that demonstrated that, for him there was no grey area. He walked a straight line and did not waiver. He was traditional in that he held to his routines, he was conservative in that he did not buy into trends, and he was, at his core, an old soul mature even in his youth. He made no apologies, he owned what he said and owned what he did even when he was wrong. I truly believe you know what I mean and saw him demonstrate these qualities first-hand.

He was decisive, in that he made decisions and did not waver. He felt that when a man made a decision, he was to stick to it, for that was an indication of strength and character, qualities that shaped him. Again, he said what he meant and meant what he said. These qualities were seen by you, he was an example to you, and thus held a purpose, which was to one day grow up to, Lord willing, be husbands and fathers of the highest caliber and character because it was passed on to you, forged in you because of him. Again, his strong sense of responsibility, work ethic, decisiveness, diligence, dedication, and respect are all character traits that he exemplified all for your benefit, all so that you two would someday garner those traits.

He also wanted you to trust in God, to have a strong sense of faith because it was faith and trust in God that got him through the last year of his life. He was raised to trust in God and that was why he had a peace and a calm, even though it was hard to be tested and tried by God. He knew that God was exerting His will and that His will is what guides our lives. God chooses when we are born, and God chooses when we go home to heaven. It was hard because this life is the life we know, the life we love, the beauty this world is enjoyable, but ultimately this life is not all there is, there is heaven. For Bob heaven was where he was going because God had determined that it was time. Bob knew he lived on God’s timing not his own, because he had faith and trust in God.

As I look back and reflect on our relationship I smile and am filled with fond memories. We started dating and quickly found that spending time with each other was the best part of our day. He was busy with coaching football and I gave him his time and space to do that, I enjoyed going to practice as well as games and I was still in college. He watched any and all sporting activities and I was content to sit with him and watch too, just because it meant I was with him. He was thoughtful and kind, he always paid for our dates. He was a person who liked to be in control, and I allowed him to take the reins, not overbearing nor overpowering, but as a man and as a leader. He was sweet and giving, our pet name for each other was “Sweetie”, and he always bought me flowers for my birthday and our anniversaries. We started dating in 1984 and back then writing letters was the typical way to communicate we wrote each other special cards and letters quite often. As time went on we talked about getting married and having a family, so we started saving together to buy a house, then we got engaged in 1988. Our courtship was spent enjoying travel trips, the beach, and sking, developing our relationship, planning for a future together, and planning for a wedding. Our wedding turned out to be held on July 28,1990 at St. Benedict’s Catholic Church followed by a reception for 400 of our closet family members, friends, and work colleagues held at Quiet Cannon Golf Course, both in Montebello.

As my husband he was my whole world. We had a love that was more than special it was enduring, impactful, and everlasting. Don’t get me wrong, we were not without our share of problems. Having been in a relationship for 34 years we lived through many rough times. I truly believe what helped us get through the rough patches was the ability to forgive. It is crucial to work through issues and then move forward, this means not keeping an account of wrong doings, but forgiving and forgetting. We say the words, “Till death do us part” and yet how many of us really live them? We lived them with earnest in 2019 and it was the most difficult and challenging marital command that anyone would have to endure. And yet endure we did, not out of obligation, but out of true and enduring love. The time, energy, and effort put into caring for and living with a spouse during a life-threatening illness is beyond our comprehension. But to see the facial expressions, mannerism, and genuine compassion of the two of us, was to see the depths of true love and the call to walk the sacrament of marriage with strength and courage. It was by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit which surrounded us each day that allowed us to live this journey in love, care, and dedication.

I know it’s hard to think about 2019 as a blessing, but I do. I think that God showed us grace and mercy by allowing us to walk with Robert and share his journey, the diagnosis of cancer, with him. I frequently told you two to not be sad, he was here with us. We were able to sit with him, rest with him, care for him, love on him, and tell him how much we loved him and how much he meant to us. That time was a blessing. I truly believe God knew he could not take Robert from us in an instant, God knew that it would be too much of shock to us, and so God in His ever-loving grace and mercy, gave us a year. A year to take care of him. A year to think about how our lives would be without your one and only "Pops" and my one and only "Sweetie". A year to think about life without the only man in this world who could be the leader of our tribe. A year to allow us to wrap our heads around the horrible thought of life without him. A year to prepare our hearts for the emptiness and sadness that would engulf us. A year for our hearts to realize we would no longer to be able to hug him, kiss him, touch him, and be in his presence. We were blessed above and beyond belief because we were given the gift of time. 1Thessalonians 5:16-18, Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus, this verse reveals God’s call to us-to put our faith in His will and trust Him in all situations, Robert did.

Finally, as I reflect on the events of the last year of his life, I am saddened, crushed, and fearful that I can no longer have a conversation with him, hug him, nor kiss him. He was my whole life, the love of my life, the father of my children, my best friend, my confidant, the last person I saw each day, the first person I saw each morning, the only person who truly knew me, the only person I could say anything to, I could reveal my heart to, by best friend, my soul mate, and my true north. It is my faith, hope, and trust in God that will be my source of courage and strength each and every day of my life. So, by the grace of God I will do my best to think about the many happy memories that we shared, and I hope that you will do the same. I will call upon my heart to remind me of the depth of love he had for me, each of you, and his family and friends- I hope that you will do the same. I will smile, because the last thing he would want is for us to be is sad, he wanted us to be happy and he did everything he could to see to our happiness, he was selfless, so it is my hope that when you think about your Pops, you will smile.

I read this passage every week, sometimes everyday. It was my source of strength because it revealed God's never ending lovingkindness

Psalm 23 New King James Version (NKJV), The Lord the Shepherd of His People, A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

*Excerpts used here are from the eulogy of Roberto Torres, Jr. written for his memorial service and presented by Sergio White, on November 22, 2019. Revisions and additions by Patricia A. Torres